i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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