my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
