In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
