Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
