She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
