I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
