This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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