I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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