i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
