I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize