hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
