I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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