David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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