I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
