oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
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