i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
