i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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