He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
