Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
