I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
