What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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