No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
