good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize