this beer tastes like vomit already
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I got inside last night via doggy door
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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