Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
