i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
