So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
