therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
