Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
