Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
