You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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