shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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