Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
