I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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