I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
