...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There r osticjed everywhere
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
