dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
