i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
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