if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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