More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
