READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
