I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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