singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize