He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
