There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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