Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
