By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
