If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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