I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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