please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
