The maid of honor just puked.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
