so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
