So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
