You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
