Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
