i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
