I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
