...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
