do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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