I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
