I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will be naked everywhere
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize