You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
